“These stories were my kind of stories--a little weird and magical and bittersweet.” --Roxane Gay, New York Times bestselling author of Bad Feminist and Hunger A middle-aged masochist in love with a comatose man. A gay birthday clown lamenting the loss of his beloved dog. An amateur veterinarian keeping watch over his suicidal daughter. And a bikini model with a barnacle stuck to her butt cheek. These are just a few of the characters who populate the quirky, offbeat world of If You Lived Here You’d Already Be Home a world that feels at once alien and strangely familiar. In these twenty-one brief, funny stories, John Jodzio documents his characters disappointment, frustration, and longing for a home that seems forever out of reach. By turns bleak and hopeful, cruel and tender, this is an exciting literary debut by a writer to watch, a writer with a unique and compelling voice. “John Jodzio is the best kind of modern fiction writer: a thematic traditionalist who feels totally new.” —Chuck Klosterman, New York Times bestselling author